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  Lawyer One Liners 2  

      Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
      A: It only takes one lawyer to change your light bulb... to his.
      Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
      A: How many can you afford?
      Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
      A: Heck, you need 250 just to apply for the research grant.
      Q: How do you get a group of lawyers to smile for a picture?
      A: Just say "Fees!"
      Q: Why are lawyers so good at racketball?
      A: Because they stoop so low.
      Q: How does an attorney sleep?
      A: First he lies on one side, and then on the other.
      Q: What would happen if you lock a zombie in a room full of lawyers?
      A: He would starve to death.
      Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I.Q. of 50?
      A: Senator.
      Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad?
      A: "Your honor."
      Q: What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?
      A: The caterer.
      Q: What does it mean when a lawyer tells his clients he has a sliding fee schedule?
      A: It means that after you pay his bill, it's financially hard to get back on your feet.
      Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
      A: A good start!
      Q: Why do they bury lawyers twelve feet deep?
      A: Because deep down, they are really good guys.
      Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
      A: Professional courtesy.
      Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
      A: A shortage of sand.

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