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Clean jokes, funny jokes, free jokes, and clean lawyer jokes and humor about lawyers, criminals, judges, the law, cops, and more. Lawyer One Liners 2 Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It only takes one lawyer to change your light bulb... to his.
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: How many can you afford?
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Heck, you need 250 just to apply for the research grant.
Q: How do you get a group of lawyers to smile for a picture?
A: Just say "Fees!"
Q: Why are lawyers so good at racketball?
A: Because they stoop so low.
Q: How does an attorney sleep?
A: First he lies on one side, and then on the other.
Q: What would happen if you lock a zombie in a room full of lawyers?
A: He would starve to death.
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I.Q. of 50?
A: Senator.
Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad?
A: "Your honor."
Q: What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?
A: The caterer.
Q: What does it mean when a lawyer tells his clients he has a sliding fee schedule?
A: It means that after you pay his bill, it's financially hard to get back on your feet.
Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start!
Q: Why do they bury lawyers twelve feet deep?
A: Because deep down, they are really good guys.
Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.
Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: A shortage of sand.
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