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Clean jokes, funny jokes, free jokes, and clean bar jokes and humor about bars, bar jokes, drunks, booze, bartenders, and more. Exact Change  man walked into a bar with an ostrich behind him. He ordered a beer and said to the ostrich: "What will you have?"
The ostrich said: "I'll have the same."
"That's $4.90," said the bartender.
The man reached into his pocket and without looking or counting, handed the bartender exactly $4.90.
The following day the man and the ostrich called in again. "I"ll have the whiskey," said the man. "And what do you want?" he asked the ostrich.
The ostrich said: "I'll have a rum and a coke."
"That's $6.33," said the bartender.
The man reached into his pocket and immediately produced exactly $6.33.
The next day the man and the ostrich were back again. The man ordered a gin and a tonic and the ostrich asked for a glass of Chardonnay and a packet of nuts.
"That's $6.98," said the bartender.
The man reached into his pocket and handed over exactly $6.98.
The bartender said: "There's something I have to ask you. How do you manage to bring out the precise amount of change from your pocket without ever counting it?"
The man explained: "last year I was clearing out the attic when I came across an old lamp. For fun, I thought I'd rub it to see whether a genie appeared and, to my amazement, one did. Not only that, but he granted me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I could just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."
"That's great," said the bartender. "So many people wish for untold wealth, expensive holidays or fast cars. One other thing though: what's with the ostrich?"
The man said: "My second wish was for a chick with long legs."
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