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Clean jokes, funny jokes, free jokes, and clean dumb jokes and humor about dumb stuff. Dumb laws, dumb things that people do or say, and more. Stupid Quotes 2  esearchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana.... The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are.
- Matt Lauer on NBC's Today show, August 22
"It's like an Alcatraz around my neck."
- Boston mayor Menino on the shortage of city parking spaces
Half this game is ninety percent mental.
- Philadelphia Phillies manager Danny Ozark
They're multi-purpose. Not only do they put the clips on, but they take them off.
- Pratt and Whitney spokesperson explaining why the company charged the Air Force nearly $1,000 for an ordinary pair of pliers
It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people.
- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.
- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe.
- Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia
Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign
The president has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
- Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on "Larry King Live"
After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post.
- Philip Streifer, Superintendent of Schools, Barrington, Rhode Island
That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it.
- A congressional candidate in Texas
Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public mind.
- General William Westmoreland, during the war in Viet Nam
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