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  You May Be A Redneck Pilot If...  

      ...your stall warning plays "Dixie."
      ...your cross-country flight plan uses flea markets as check points.
    think sectionals charts should show trailer parks.
    have mud flaps on your wheel pants.
    think GPS stands for going perfectly straight.
      ...your toothpick keeps poking your mike.
      ...just before impact, you are heard saying, "Hey y'all, watch this!"
    have a black airplane with a big #3 on the side.
   've ever just taxied around the airport drinking beer.
    use a Purina feed bag for a windsock.
    fuel your wizzbang 140 from a Mason jar.
    refer to flying in formation as "We got ourselves a convoy!"
      ...there is a sign on the side of your aircraft advertising your septic tank service.
      ...when you are the owner of Red Neck Airlines and pilot of Redneck One.
    subscribe to The Southern Aviator because of the soft paper!
    have ever incorporated sheetrock into the repair of your aircraft.
    have ever responded to ATC with the phrase "That's a big 10-4!"
    typically answer female controllers with titles like "sugar" or "little darlin'."
      ...she responds with the words "Honey" or "Big guy" then she may be a redneck.
    have ever used a relief tube as a spitoon.
    glance down at your belt buckle to help you remember your N-number.
      ...the preprinted portion of your weight and balance sheet contains "Case of Bud."

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