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  The Ham  

Old Seamus Flattery is upstairs dying and the neighbor women are downstairs with Seamus' wife cooking for the wake. The neighborhood men are out in the back passing a pint and the priest is coming every three hours to say the rosary.
      But old Seamus comes out of his coma and calls weakly for his wife: "Johanna, Johanna ... "
      Downstairs one of the ladies hears him and says to Johanna: "It's himself, he's calling for you."
      So, Johanna climbs upstairs quickly and comes in the room.
      Johanna: "Oh Seamus me darling what it is?"
      Seamus: "Is that a ham I smell cooking down there?"
      Johanna: "Oh aye it tis indeed - a fine big ham."
      Seamus: "And did you put the cloves to it and cover it with mustard?"
      Johanna: "Oh aye, its just the way you like it."
      Seamus: "And would you be after cutting me a small piece?"
      Johanna: "Oh Seamus you always was such a joker - we're saving the ham
      for your wake!"

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