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Clean jokes, funny jokes, free jokes, and clean Irish jokes and humor about the Irish, drinking, pubs, beer, and more. Ready To Die  t seems that Pat, who was 88 had been feelin' poorly for the past few months. One day his son Seamus convinced him to go see the doctor.
After a complete exam, the doctor brought Pat and Seamus into his office. "I've got bad news for Pat, your heart's near given out and you've only two months to live."
Pat was stunned but after a few minutes he turns to his son and says,"I've had a good long life and if the Lord wants me then I've no complaints. Let's be off to the Pub where I'm after havin' a pint with me friends."
Arriving at the pub a few of his cronies spy Pat "Ah Patty how are you feelin' today", says one.
"Not good Mike, I've been to the doctors and he says I've two months to live."
"What a shame," says Mike, "and what's ailin ya"?
"The doctor says I have the aids."
After a few moments Seamus gets his father alone and says, "Da, it's not aids that ya have, it's a heart condition."
"Sure don't I know that, I just don't want them old buggers trying to sleep with your Ma when I'm gone."
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