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  Yo' Mama's So Ugly... 4  

      ...they turn off the cameras when she walks into a bank!
      ...they used her in prisons to cure sex offenders!!
      ...when I first saw her, my momma was nauseous.
      ...when a baby, she was breast fed through a straw!
      ...when a child, she had to be fed with a slingshot!
      ...when she cries the tears run up her face.
      ...when she goes to the beach the tide won't come in!
      ...when she sits in the sand the cat tries to bury her.
      ...when she walk by the bathroom the toilet flushes.
      ...when she was born her incubator windows were tinted.
      ...when she was born the doctor slapped her momma!
      ...when she was born the windows in her incubator were tinted.
      ...when she went to jump in the lake the lake jumped back!
      ...when you look up ugly in the dictionary it has her picture.
      ...yo' father put the bathroom mirror inside the medicine cabinet.
      ...her pillows cry at night.
      ...her own shadow is afraid of her.
      ...she could be a poster child for the burn center.
      ...when she was a child, her parents sent her to the movies-then moved!
      ...when she was a child, she had to "trick or treat" over the telephone.
      ...she could make k.d. lang go straight.
      ...she's a living example of why some animals eat their young.
      ...she's a living example of why you shouldn't marry your sister.
    pay top dollar for her to stand in the fields and scare the crows away.

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