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Category: Funny Women Jokes
Clean jokes, funny jokes, free jokes, and clean women jokes and humor about women. Smart women, dumb women, and women in general.
The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
--Helen Hayes (at 73)
Who ever thought up the word "Mammogram"? Every time I hear it, I think -I'm supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone.
A few weeks after my [breast cancer] surgery, I went out to play catch with my golden retriever. When bent over to pick up the ball, my prosthesis fell out. The dog grabbed it, and I found myself chasing him down the road yelling "Hey, come back here with my breast!"
Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
You know the hardest thing about having cerebral palsy and being a woman? It's plucking your eyebrows. That's how I originally got pierced ears.
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
Old age ain't no place for sissies.
A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.
The phrase "working mother" is redundant.
Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows.
Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
If you can't be a good example,then you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning.
When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss... and they called ME slow!
Behind every successful woman...is a substantial amount of coffee.
Behind every successful woman...is a basket of dirty laundry.
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