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  Women's Musings  

       The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
      --Helen Hayes (at 73)
      Who ever thought up the word "Mammogram"? Every time I hear it, I think -I'm supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone.
      --Jan King
      A few weeks after my [breast cancer] surgery, I went out to play catch with my golden retriever. When bent over to pick up the ball, my prosthesis fell out. The dog grabbed it, and I found myself chasing him down the road yelling "Hey, come back here with my breast!"
      --Linda Ellerbee
      Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
      --Lily Tomlin
      You know the hardest thing about having cerebral palsy and being a woman? It's plucking your eyebrows. That's how I originally got pierced ears.
      --Geri Jewell
      A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.
      --Carrie Snow
      Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.
      --Laurie Kuslansky
      My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
      --Erma Bombeck
      Old age ain't no place for sissies.
      --Bette Davis
      A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.
      --Rhonda Hansome
      The phrase "working mother" is redundant.
      --Jane Sellman
      Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows.
      --Jennifer Unlimited
      Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
      --Charlotte Whitton
      Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
      --Caryn Leschen
      I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
      --Jennifer Unlimited
      If you can't be a good example,then you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning.
      --Catherine Aird
      When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss... and they called ME slow!
      --Kathy Buckley
      Behind every successful a substantial amount of coffee.
      --Stephanie Piro
      Behind every successful a basket of dirty laundry.
      --Sally Forth

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