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  Top Ten Signs You Are Having A Bad Day  

      10. You call suicide prevention and they put you on hold.
      
      9. Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
      
      8. You have to sit down to brush your teeth in the morning.
      
      7. The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.
      
      6. You put both contact lenses in the same eye.
      
      5. Your kids start treating you the same way you treated your parents.
      
      4. The worst player on the golf course wants to play you for money.
      
      3. You turn on the evening news and they are showing emergency routes out of the city.
      
      2. Everyone avoids you the morning after the company office party.
      
      1. Your twin sister forgets your birthday.


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