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  Evading A Speeding Ticket  

When the police officer pulls you over, go for the following
      Officer: May I see your driver's license?
      Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
      Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
      Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
      Officer: The car is stolen?
      Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
      Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
      Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
      Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
      Driver: Yes, sir.
      Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
      Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
      Driver: Sure. Here it is.
      It was valid.
      Captain: Who's car is this?
      Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card.
      The driver owned the car.
      Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
      Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.
      Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
      Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
      Driver: No problem.
      Trunk is opened; no body.
      Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
      Driver: Yeah, I'll bet that lying S.O.B. said I was speeding, too.

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