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Category: Funny One Liners Jokes
Clean jokes, funny jokes, free jokes, and clean one-liner jokes and one-liner humor. Short jokes, snappy comebacks, and more.
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42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
A good pun is its own reword.
A harp is a piano with no clothes on.
A heavy-handed father makes a nimble-footed son.
A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.
A pessimist is a man who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
Action speaks louder than words, but not nearly as often.
Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
Are you interested in making $$$$ fast? Here's an incredibly simple way to do it, and there is nothing to buy, no investment to make, no money to lose! Try it now! Follow this simple procedure: Hold down the shift key and hit the '4' key four times.
Bacon and eggs: Hens are involved, but pigs are committed.
Be ye fishers of men: You catch 'em, He'll clean 'em.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Brain cells come and go but fat cells live forever.
Can you yell "MOVIE!" in a crowded firestation?
Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly car payment is due.
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
DIAPER spelled backward is REPAID. Think about it...
Did Washington just flash a quarter for his ID?
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I drive by again?
Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
Don't worry: The answer's at the back of the book.
Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
Feet smell? Nose runs? Hey, you're upside down!
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