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Clean jokes, funny jokes, free jokes, and clean military jokes and humor about the military, the army, the navy, the air force, the marines, and more. Murphy's Laws Of Combat 3 - Sniper's motto: reach out and touch someone.
- Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity.
- The one item you need is always in short supply.
- Interchangeable parts aren't.
- It's not the one with your name on it; it's the one addressed "to whom it may concern" you've got to think about.
- When in doubt, empty your magazine.
- The side with the simplest uniforms wins.
- Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.
- If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you may have misjudged the situation.
- If two things are required to make something work, they will never be shipped together.
- Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.
- Whenever you lose contact with the enemy, look behind you.
- The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.
- The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.
- If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.
- There is nothing more satisfying than having someone take a shot at you, and miss.
- If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
- You'll only remember your hand grenades when the sound is too close to use them.
- Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.
- Well .. It could be worse: It could be raining .. and we could be out in it.
- So he said, "Cheer up: it could be worse!" So we cheered up. And it got worse.
- The side with the simplest uniform wins...
- The spare batteries for the PRC-whatever your troops have been carrying are either nearly dead or for the wrong radio.
- The ping you heard was the antenna snapping off at 6 inches above the flexmount, while a fire mission was being called in on a battalion of hostiles who know your position.
- Why is it the CO sticks his head in your radio hooch to see if anything has come down from DIV when you are listening to the VOA broadcasting the baseball games?
- How come you are on one frequency when everyone else is on another?
- Why does your 500-watt VRC-26 (real old) not make it across 200 miles while a ham with 50 watts on the same MARS frequency can be heard from Stateside?
- Know why short RTOs have long whips on their radios? So someone can find them when they step in deep water.
- The enemy "Alway's" times his attack, to the second you drop your pant's in the Latrine!!
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