Murphy's Laws Of Combat 1 - Military Jokes

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Category: Funny Military Jokes
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Murphy's Laws Of Combat 1
      - Friendly fire - isn't.

      - Recoilless rifles - aren't.

      - Suppressive fires - won't.

      - You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note.

      - A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down.

      - If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.

      - Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.

      - If at first you don't succeed, call in an airstrike.

      - If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short.

      - Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.

      - Never go to bed with anyone crazier than yourself.

      - Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

      - If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.

      - The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack.

      - The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: when they're ready. and when you're not.

      - No OPLAN ever survives initial contact.

      - There is no such thing as a perfect plan.

      - Five second fuzes always burn three seconds.

      - There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.

      - A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping.

      - The important things are always simple; the simple are always hard.

      - The easy way is always mined.

      - Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.

      - Don't look conspicuous; it draws fire. For this reason, it is not at all uncommon for aircraft carriers to be known as bomb magnets.

      - Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you.

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