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  A Cowboy's Guide to Life  

Never squat with yer spurs on.
      There are two theories to arguin' with a woman; neither one works.
      Don't worry about bitin' off more than you can chew, your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.
      If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
      If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
      Never smack a man who's chewin' tobacco.
      Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.
      Never follow good whiskey with water, unless you're out of good whiskey.
      Good judgment comes from experience; experience comes from bad judgment.
      Always drink upstream from the herd.
      Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly.
      If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
      Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.
      Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so important to know what it is, but it's critical to know what it was.
      The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.
      Never miss a good chance to shut up.

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