Youre here: Home » Funny Jokes » Hunting Jokes » Diary Of A Deer Hunter


   Jokes Categories

Category: Funny Hunting Jokes
       Clean jokes, funny jokes, free jokes, and clean hunting jokes and humor about hunting, hunters, bears, guns, and more.

  Diary Of A Deer Hunter  

      1:00 AM: Alarm clock rings.
      2:00 AM: Hunting partners arrive, drag you out of bed.
      2:30 AM: Throw everything except kitchen sink into pickup.
      3:00 AM: Leave for deep woods.
      3:15 AM: Drive back home to pick up gun.
      3:30 AM: Drive like crazy to get to the woods before daylight.
      4:00 AM: Set up camp. Forgot the stupid tent.
      4:30 AM: Head for the woods.
      6:05 AM: See eight deer.
      6:06 AM: Take aim and squeeze trigger.
      6:07 AM: CLICK.
      6:08 AM: Load gun while watching deer go over hill.
      8:00 AM: Head back to camp.
      9:00 AM: Still looking for camp.
      10:00 AM: Realize that you don't know where camp is.
      NOON : Fire gun for help---eat wild berries.
      2:15 PM: Run out of bullets---eight deer come back.
      2:20 PM: Strange feeling in stomach.
      2:30 PM: Realize that you ate poison berries.
      2:45 PM: Rescued.
      2:55 PM: Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped, throw up instead.
      3:15 PM: Arrive back at camp.
      3:30 PM: Leave camp to kill deer.
      4:00 PM: Return to camp for bullets.
      4:01 PM: Load gun---leave camp again.
      5:00 PM: Empty gun on bug that is bugging you.
      6:00 PM: Arrive at camp -- see deer grazing.
      6:01 PM: Load gun.
      6:02 PM: Fire gun.
      6:03 PM: One dead pickup.
      6:05 PM: Hunting partners arrive in camp dragging deer.
      6:06 PM: Repress desire to shoot hunting partners.
      6:07 PM: Fall into fire.
      6:10 PM: Change clothing, throw burned ones in fire.
      6:15 PM: Take pickup, leave hunting partners and deer in camp.
      6:25 PM: Pickup boils over due to hole shot in block.
      6:26 PM: Start walking.
      6:30 PM: Stumble and fall, drop gun in mud.
      6:35 PM: Meet bear.
      6:36 PM: Take aim.
      6:37 PM: Fire gun, blow up barrel that's plugged with mud.
      6:38 PM: Mess pants.
      6:39 PM: Climb tree.
      11:00 PM: Bear leaves. Wrap gun around tree.
      Midnight: Home at last. Fall on knees thanking Maker.
      Next day: Watch football game on TV, slowly tearing up hunting license into small pieces, place in envelope, and mail to Game Warden.

Previous Hunting Joke | Hunting Jokes Index | Next Hunting Joke

Email this joke to a friend

Privacy Policy
Copyright © 1999-2008 All rights reserved.