The Envelope Please - Business Jokes

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Category: Funny Business Jokes
       Clean jokes, funny jokes, free jokes, and clean business jokes and humor about business, companies, the stock market, and more.
The Envelope Please
orris had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high-tech corporation.

      The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes, #1,#2, and #3. "Open these if you run up against a problem you don't think you can solve," the departing CEO said.

      Things went along pretty smoothly, but six months later, sales took a downturn and Morris was catching a lot of heat. About at his wit's end, he remembered the envelopes. He went to his drawer and took out the first envelope. The message read, "Blame your predecessor."

      Morris, the new CEO called a press conference and tactfully laid the blame at the feet of the previous CEO. Satisfied with his comments, the press -- and Wall Street -- responded positively. Sales began to pick up and the problem was soon behind him.

      About a year later, the company was again experiencing a slight dip in sales, combined with serious product problems. Having learned from his previous experience, the CEO quickly opened the second envelope. The message read, "Reorganize." This he did, and the company quickly rebounded.

      After several consecutive profitable quarters, the company once again fell on difficult times. Morris went to his office, closed the door and opened the third envelope.

      The message said, "Prepare three envelopes."

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